Pseudo Tragedies
by MoonliteCrescndo
Summary: AU. Because of a car accident, two lives are irrevocably changed. Was it fate? Was it meant to be...or something equally cliche? Or was it simply a case of mistaken idenity? Shonen ai, yaoi
1. Chapter 1

He was standing on the edge crest, looking over into the crater like impression made in the land. So his brother had done it. He had finally obtained the power he had wanted. His white hair whipped around his face and he turned away, his shirt pounding against his skin in the breeze. He wasn't sure how he felt, as he walked down the path leading to his car. All he knew was that there were things to attend to. Things to explain. People to call, business to attend to, you could say, if you wanted to be entirely too cliché. But Sesshomaru knew that was beyond him at this point. And all he wanted to do, as he slid into his car and started the engine, was go back to bed.

/ seven months earlier /

"Bitch! Shit! Fuck! Damn it! Whore of a bitch of a dog of a monkey of a squid!" Sesshomaru wondered at the coloration in the language. And he was about to learn the man was a monk.

"Certainly. But that still doesn't explain why you still haven't given me your insurance information yet." Sesshomaru said, looking bored and slightly annoyed. He was standing next to his car, which was smashed beyond the recognition of the elegant car it was before. Because some idiot had been backing up without looking. Or perhaps he was looking and just doesn't even know how to drive. Either was possible. For this man did not look capable of any coherent thought in any manner.

Miroku looked around sheepishly and railed at his car—a beat up Honda accord, one of those old boxy ones that look like they will fall apart if you just touched it wrong. It was cheaper looking, especially compared to Sesshomaru's black jaguar.

"You see, I'm a monk."

Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow. Did he care? Not really. He'd just like him to pay for the dent in his car. He looked at him expectantly. Miroku looked back, figured the long-haired man wasn't going to talk, so he went on.

"And…I don't have much money. So…"

Sesshomaru already knew the end of that sentence.

"No insurance?"

Miroku nodded. He pressed his thumb and his forefinger together, blushing slightly before he smiled.

"But I can take away the bad spirits in your home. For free. Of course. That goes without saying."

Sesshomaru was not impressed. He looked at him for a second before he said.

"And you obviously don't have the money to pay me in cash?" Miroku nodded his head a bit. Sesshomaru sighed to himself. This was becoming more of a problem than just the car. He rolled his eyes and looked down at his watch. Late. Already. Brilliant. Sesshomaru took out his cell phone and dialed his house number.

"Jaken?...No, I do know I'm late… Yes, that's fine they called… Indeed… I will be there soon. Someone will be arriving at the house in a cab. His name is…" Sesshomaru looked over at Miroku and gave him an expectant look. The man coughed and mumbled,

"Miroku Kitamura," before he gave him a confused look, as if he had just realized that there was something going on that involved him.

"Miroku Kitamura." Sesshomaru repeated. "Yes, I want you to find him something to wear, and give him something to do. He owes me money and he will work it off."

Sesshomaru closed his cell phone shut and looked down at Miroku. He opened the door to a cab and deposited him inside, closing the door.

"Take the cab." He leaned over and handed money and the address to the driver before he stood back up and walked away, going down the street. Miroku paused.

"Hey, wait…what?" He yelled, wondering what the hell just happened. He got in a car accident, he explained the monk story, he exacted some of his confused charm…yeah, and he checked the list, nothing written down about being an indentured servant to some pretty man/woman thing with white hair! Miroku fumed and yelled down the street. "Get back here, you yellow livered son of a muskrat!" But the cab was moving. Miroku grit his teeth.

Sesshomaru kept walking. He hailed a cab on the next block over and got inside, going to his office. Yes. At least things were still going his way. He wasn't really late for the meeting—someone else was later than him. In fact, it seems that the person didn't even show up at all. A one Miroku…Kita…mura?

Sesshomaru looked down at the business cards he had been holding and gripped them tighter. He had been having phone calls back and forth with a one Miroku Kitamura for about two weeks. He hadn't connected the names, since he always got to the point in the negotiations where he was referring to the person as their last name only. Since it was a very common name, he hadn't even batted an eye when that…monk had left this morning. So, that old Honda toting dirt bag was the man he was trying to get to sell him his shrine in order to build a new shopping center?

His long, thin fingers gripped the business card and he bowed shortly to the men in the room as he went to his office. He had to go about this in a different manner. Kitamura was probably angry and abused. Perhaps if he played it just right he could…

Sesshomaru allowed himself a smirk once more. Yes, this was a good day. All he had to do was play the right cards and nothing would matter after the merger was closed. He had to enlist his asshole brother, but he could easily win him over. Nothing could stop this now.

He allowed himself a light chuckle and leaned back in his chair. Sesshomaru picked up his phone and dialed his home again. Jaken picked up, sounding irritated.

"Jaken. Has the package arrived?"

"Yes sir." He replied quickly and groaned.

"Alright. I need you to explain to him that I work at home. But I was visiting my brother, Inuyasha Shino's work." Jaken made a gurgling sound on the phone. "Jaken, do it now."

Irritated he had to repeat himself; he hung up the phone and gathered some files. He wrote an e-mail explaining his absence to personal matters and then got up to leave. He had to pay a visit to Inuyasha. And by the looks of it, things would still go his way.

He straightened his tie and walked out, using the black limo he had stored in long term parking. He never needed it, usually, since he liked driving himself around, but sometimes occasions called for a limo. He rang up his driver and he was downstairs before he got there. Sesshomaru nodded. Yes, things were going his way. He got into the car and leaned back against the plush leather interior. Closing his eyes, he allowed himself one more smirk for the day. He would get that shrine. It was the last of the tenants on the list he needed to evict. But because it was a religious place of worship, he needed the owners consent to the land. And he would get it. All he needed was the help of a certain black-haired individual and his plan was in motion.

Once again, he straightened his tie and leaned back. Yes, for the one Sesshomaru Shino, things always went his way. It was the way of the world.

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Disclaimer: Do not own. Don't want to own. Give it up. Last time this will be here. 

I'm back. This might take a while to write, but we'll see. As you can see, I'm sort of exploring the yaoi side right now. Don't flame. If you don't like this, give it up. People will write what they want to write. Go read something else if you don't like it.

Chapter two to come. Will Sesshomaru be able to persuade Inuyasha? And on what grounds? And what is Miroku doing in Sesshomaru's house?

Enjoy.

MC

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	2. Incessant Habits

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Once the incessant tie-straightening was done for the moment, Sesshomaru Shino walked out of the car and onto a long, yet rather ratty driveway. The home itself was large, proof that there was wealth in the family, but the botanicals…dear dear. They were running rampant over the fresh terrain. After years of being pruned, these plants were breaking free and running wild all over the property, causing it to have an overgrown, Manderly sort of look that simply made Sesshomaru ill. Reason number one of why he hated to go to Inuyasha's home. It reminded him of the book _Rebecca_ which was horrible, but the descriptions were fascinating. In a strictly...nonsensical way, of course.

He made sure that his Armani loafers were not to be scratched by any migrating thorn or tree appendage by using a bit of his youkai magic…and floated to the door. What one could do with those long forgotten powers was quite useful when dealing with his half-brother. Which, consequently was reason number two on the list of why he hated to go to see Inuyasha; he was forced, by the complete idiocy that surrounded him, to be drawn into inordinately idiotic games of who-was-the-better-demon. He inevitably won every time, but still, it was annoying that he had to keep on proving such over and over. Why wouldn't the half-breed just learn?

As he turned the doorknob and entered the house, he paused as his sensitive nostrils got a whiff of the smells. When he smelled something like this, it usually meant the half-dog demon had gotten around to making potions for trying to make himself a full youkai, and thus was the third reason in which he hated to come to see Inuyasha. The potions were as much to stop anyone from turning youkai as to help them, the hindering meant to deaden your senses so perhaps you would fail to decipher the right ingredients. Only the strong would survive, as more than Darwin would say, but still, the half-breed had not picked up on the fact that he wasn't one of the stronger ones. Successful he was not.

The fourth, but never the final reason why he disliked coming to Inuyasha each time was that each time he had to sacrifice a little more of his power to have the half-breeds attention. Not only did he have to convince him to come along in his schemes, but he had to give the bugger something, which was most displeasing when Sesshomaru was used to getting things he wanted without much cost.

His nose lead him to the study, where the topic of his hatred was standing at a very expensive antique desk, which he had been currently using for his laboratory…and was now covered in gouges from the acid seeping into the wood. Sesshomaru would have cringed if it wasn't beneath him. Honestly, that desk was priceless.

"Inuyasha…you are doing something for me, so listen for directions."

Sesshomaru was not one to ask for help, nor was he even one to mention the word help or that he needed help whatsoever. The mere mentioning of help made him walk the other way, so he had to put each of his requests in a demand form, which masked the true identity of his needs and made the person he was asking in a position that they couldn't refuse. Especially when they had golden eyes boring into them the like they had never seen. Unfortunately here, Inuyasha had the same golden eyes so the affect was dulled. Slightly. The half-breed looked up and scoffed.

"What do you want now?"

He sighed, crossing his arms over his chest, forgetting he had potion on his gloves and then yelping as it burned through his flesh. He jumped around for a while, destroyed some fascinating books on entomology and then settled down as his skin began to heal again.

"Are you quite done?"

His half-brother asked, looking imperious in his spotless suit. And his emotionless face was everything to write home about…if you swung into the way of emotionally constipated hotties. Inuyasha, obviously, did not, despite the incest implications of the match.

"What do you want?"

The embarrassing display was making him edgy. Not that he wasn't edgy all the time, but right now he was even more so. Sesshomaru did not look amused. Not that he ever look amused, but right now he was even more so.

"You're going to pretend to be me."

It was simply put, straight-forward and easy. It was in English too, which made it quite plain and to the point. So Sesshomaru didn't really understand why Inuyasha then broke out into peels of laughter, got more acid on himself and then pranced around the room yelling about magic…al beings.

"You've GOT to be kidding. I mean, you've asked for stranger things but…but why?"

Apparently this was too much for Inuyasha. He began laughing again and it grated on his half-brother's soul. So he got straight to it.

"I will give you what you have wanted."

It was his, anyways. Sesshomaru had the final and most important ingredient to the potion. A fang of their father's. But, he had refused to bargain with this before, but now he needed this. And still, it would make Inuyasha a low class demon. He needed something else to become as powerful as Sesshomaru himself, and even he could not help him with that.

Inuyasha, on the other hand, had stopped laughing. He licked his teeth and then cracked his knuckles. His half-brother was disgusted, but he was used to the display. It only meant good things, coming from the half-demon. His mouth cracked into a grin again, and half of Sesshomaru believed he would start laughing. But Inuyasha was quicker.

"So, this must be important then, if you will risk my being more powerful than you."

Another flaw, Inuyasha didn't read enough to understand what it took to be a true, full-fledged demon. Not that it helped any that Sesshomaru was the only one that owned the only literature on the subject. But that wasn't important, what was important was the fact that Inuyasha seemed to be agreeing. Even if he had a nasty habit of realizing when something meant a lot to Sesshomaru, such as this. He kept his cool.

"There is no risk of that. I take it that you will take the job? Details are inside the envelope. And actually read them, or no fang."

Sesshomaru turned and left, his nose itching to curl up in disgust at the smell. He got back into his limo and made his way back home, to another problem which of course would be easier to handle. Yet Sesshomaru Shino was not aware that his luck was about to change. In a very advantageous way, one could surmise. If one enjoyed those sorts of things.

Inuyasha, on the other hand, gripped the envelope in his hand and smiled as he leaned back into his chair, for some things the brothers did share…mainly personal habits. He opened the envelope with a claw and smirked, reading it happily. He figured that now was a great time to think about what he was going to do with all his newfound power…and he read with a relish that was scary to behold. The flies on the walls flew away. But it also could have just been the smell.

Miroku was angry. It was vividly displayed on his face when the rather ugly creature that seemed highly disgruntled had dropped off the "uniform" he was to wear. He felt sickened. Honestly, he had not thought that this kind of thing went on anymore and would have complained, really, except jail time did not look good on one's monk record, and all the charm in the world would not be able to explain why he was driving a car without insurance. He wasn't that stupid.

With more colorful words than then that morning by the cars, he put on the uniform, which jokingly seemed to consist of a black monk's hakama and a purple sash. If he was supposed to be happy about this—oh…it was rather comfortable. He smiled to himself and allowed a bit of time to look around the large mansion since the ugly toad-thingy had gone off somewhere and apparently forgot to tell him what to do. So Miroku skipped off and was later found in the pantry, eating and drinking sake, when the toad-thingy came back, explained that the dude from that morning was visiting his brother…Shino…Shino…_Why does that name seem familiar?_ But at the moment, he didn't care and was soon on his way to blackout-by-sake when the toad-thingy came back, or at least he thought it was the toad-thingy, but then it was talking and it had a nice voice and he remembered that a pretty-angel had hit his car this morning and he sighed.

"Angel…"

Miroku reached out for the long white hair and played with it, waving it about in his hands, back and forth, back and forth.

"So pretty…like a silk moth…"

He sputtered, holding the hair to his face as he smelt it…

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Rewind to about five minutes ago when Sesshomaru Shino came home. He had, of course, been walking nonchalantly down the hall when, BAM! (No, not like that cooking show…) he had been accosted by Jaken…who looked worried that he had lost the man. So Sesshomaru easily sniffed him out, and then was called an angel and he—

Sesshomaru coughed. And glared down at the man who was currently groping his hair like he hadn't ever touched something like it in his life. Which was very well possible, but there honesty was no need. For the groping…and such.

"I don't believe you have any idea what you're talking about."

He said adamantly, looking down at the drunken monk. Which seemed like a crazed and ironic idea in the first place, but he went with it, since it was the only way to describe the actions of a one Miroku Kitamura.

"Moths most certainly do not make silk."

Sesshomaru was at a loss. He extracted the hands from his hair, pushed Miroku away and then sighed. He had to act nicer. If he wanted to gain the trust of him. And since he was going to act nicer, he should start now. So Sesshomaru roughly grabbed his hand…and…and, well, shoved it back in his hair.

"Yes…like silk."

He said, gruffly, and then picked up the monk. Miroku yawned and clutched to him tiredly.

"Want to sleep with the fluffy."

Miroku murmured, rubbing his nose into the wide expanse of chest that was moving up and down from stressed and annoyance. Sesshomaru rolled his eyes.

"You're drunk; you don't want to sleep with anything right now."

He tried…but the monk wouldn't budge.

"I want my fluffy and I want him now! Silk silk silk! What do cows drink?"

Obviously he was not in a good place. Sesshomaru couldn't allow him to be alone, really, he couldn't. So he placed him down in a guest bedroom and sat next to him…uncomfortably. Miroku curled up beside him, his arms around his shoulders, hands deep in the silky hair.

"Mmmm…you're perfect."

He whispered and then promptly began to snore loudly, passed out. Sesshomaru grunted, again extracted the hair, and laid him down and then left, taking a long, long shower to clean the excess off him. He had a car accident, he offered power to his brother and he was soon groped by a monk. This day was not a good one. As he lay down in his own bed, he could only hope things would get better. But he never got his hopes up. Not on lady luck. She was a tough bitch.

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**What really happened… RECAP samurai champloo style**

Okay. So Sesshomaru got home, found the drunken Miroku, who had mistaken him as an angel. But he really is an angel, he's pretty come on. And he KNOWS he is pretty. Vain we would say. Well, they exchanged words and there was much groping. After Miroku fell asleep in a guest bedroom, because excuse the plotholes, but you DO get outrageously drunk on sake, Sesshomaru Shino went to bed. Yes, without dinner. Oh my. Youkai are special like that.

Stay tuned for the next chapter when they actually talk without the drunkenness. And also, when we actually see Inuyasha not grunting? Or maybe not.

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